Del - Slater has got all the airports covered! Why has he got all the airports covered? ’Cause that’s how he thinks we’re getting back into the country!
Rodney - Yeah... but that’s how we are getting back in the country!
Del - Not any more we ain’t - we’re going by boat!
This episode is a first of many for the show. It’s the first feature length episode (running 90 mins long making it one of the longest too), it’s the first without a studio audience too. It’s also the first time we get a fuller cast all in one episode, we have supporting the main 3 characters: Denzil, Trigger, Slater, Boycie all together with Abdul, Hoskins, Parker and the Dutch characters also guest appearing. The overall feel of the episode is bigger, with them delving into more dramatic or thriller scenes particularly at the beginning as the camera follows the previous smugglers.
John Sullivan discusses in interview that the 30 minute format had often been restrictive and he was forced to leave often some good jokes or scenes on the editing room floor as they were cut out. This being a longer episode really makes us feel part of it and we get to see the action from multiple perspectives.
As a result, we get a great ensemble of events, sub-plots and jokes that all revolve around the central smuggling story and ending with a bittersweet success for our protagonists. I’m going to explore each of the main characters in the story which will highlight some of the best bits but also the strength in the writing and performances from all to make this a favourite episode of so many.
A personal favourite character of mine is Slater. He is introduced for the second time in the show’s history here and he’s set to retire having been forced out after a scandal. Slater is reportedly looking for the Diamond smugglers but notes that there’s always a lack of evidence. It’s ironic that his last case involved Del and Boycie, two old school mates of his.
He’s taken Hoskins from ‘May the Force Be With You’ along with him and his master/apprentice approach and bullying of Hoskins in some ways mirrors Del and Rodney. It’s ultimately Hoskins who sends Slater down by wearing a wire and getting him to confess everything.
Boycie is the instigator of the episode’s core plot. He sets up the deal with Abdul, gives Del the £50,000 for the diamonds (which we only find out is fake at the end of the episode). He’s in a way very much like Del, but with money. He’s eager to know that the deal is going to happen and is over the moon when it seems like they have pulled it off. When Slater bursts in, he is quick to throw Del under the bus however showing us that he’s not really a great friend when the chips are down, but he is useful to Del and isn’t cut off as a result of this incident (possibly as it’s Del who ultimately comes out of the ordeal on top). He also wouldn’t cheat Del Boy as he feels like Del could ultimately do him some damage.
Boycie - I didn’t intend to pay Del funny money. I ain’t into plastic surgery!
Denzil’s subplot in this episode is possibly not remembered as much, but is very funny nonetheless. Similarly to the previous episode, he is trying to avoid Del as he feels he’s “haunting” him and has only just got back together with Corinne (who must’ve broken up with him over the missing redundancy money). Del haunting Denzil all the way up to Hull and then passing him on the boat tips Denzil over the edge.
Denzil - No - I don’t want to buy anything! No - I don’t want to sell anything! And no - I don’t want you to make me a millionaire!”
This episode feels like the first episode written specifically for Uncle Albert’s involvement, so naturally we had to see his sailing prowess put into action. Safe to say it doesn’t disappoint. Albert’s inability to navigate and then history of sinking are referred to throughout. Del points out that “his luck has to change at some point!”, and later Boycie speculates that they have in fact drowned! The peak of his uselessness comes when Rodney suggests that they sail the ship by the stars, Albert states “there’s million’s of them, isn’t there!”. He goes on:
Albert - They’ve all got names like ‘The Bear’.
Del - Well can’t you just find ‘The Bear’?!
Albert - Well what does it look like?
Del - Well it looks like a bloody rabbit don’t it?!
Rodney is in love at the beginning of the episode with Imogen, but this is short-lived. He’s initially hostile to the deal.
Rodney - Del, you are smuggling diamonds!!
He is sceptical all along, particularly when Del picks out the boat and then appoints Albert as the skipper.
Del - The old’uns are the best’uns Rodney!
Rodney - No, we’re talking about boats Del, not your old birds!
But it’s Rodney that ultimately grabs the £15,000 in the moment of panic unbeknownst to everyone else it seems. This moment of victory gets quashed quickly by Del however, who chucks it out of the window for assuming it was counterfeit as per the £50,000 Boycie had sent him with.
Del is the consummate blagger and as a typical Brit abroad tries to “pretend we’re Dutchmen” by greeting everyone with the only Dutch word he can think of, given it’s not a language we are taught, he just says “Ajax” to everyone. Del then moves the plot forward by instigating the chase sequence in Amsterdam before returning to Britain and managing to pull off stealing two of the diamonds for themselves.
Ultimately everyone else ends up in a worse position in ordeal: Van Kleefe is arrested for trying to cash in Boycie’s fake money, Boycie loses £15,000, Slater is arrested for diamond smuggling and attempting to bribe a police officer, and Denzil thinks he’s going mad. The Trotters end up with their noses clean and in the black - but it could’ve been a lot more!
Tomorrow’s episode: From Prussia with Love
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